"For whosoever would save his life shall lose it, but whoever loses his life for my sake will save it."
Jesus' words from Luke 9 rattled around in my head like a jar full of change that had been dropped on the floor. Pennies and nickels of scripture rolled down the stairs of my life and continued spinning and rolling in every direction in my mind - under furniture, down registers, and continued into the hidden places in my heart. It was loud. When it all stopped and lay still and silent, I could not deny its effect.
It was a mess. My life had been simply sweet. Even with the heartaches of our infertility and Brad's continued health issues, we were grateful to God and truly happy about life and love.
However, nearly a year ago, I surveyed my life and found that I did love my life and my family - which is wonderful and godly - but I was loving it more than Jesus. Which, according to plenty of scriptures, is not true discipleship.
OK... (deep breath)... so I confessed to Brad my thoughts and inhibitions. As it turned out, he'd been having his own similar struggles. It felt incredible as our conversations shifted over the course of a couple months from the disconnect we felt between the scriptures and our lives to what course of action should be taken to rectify it.
How do we give Jesus more? How do we give more time to those hurting? More money to those in need? Both of us quickly realized that we needed to get out of this house. Even though we knew that the house upkeep took time and money, there was another element. It provided a place for us to hide. We could love each other, invest in one another here in this home as we worked to maintain and improve it. To us, it began to feel so... small. Our family of 3 in a world of 7 billion. We knew God was calling us to something more. The idea of moving intimidated and excited us. We discussed it and prayed about it for a couple months until we could avoid it no longer. It was our next course of action.
Jesus' words seem weightier.
Paul's admonitions seem more real.
Our hearts are embracing the idea of not only, "Life is short, " but also, that what really matters is eternity. We've decided to flesh that out with a sign in our yard.
I don't know if there will be a buyer.
Regardless, I know we are different.
And that doesn't feel good, it feels great.
Jesus' words from Luke 9 rattled around in my head like a jar full of change that had been dropped on the floor. Pennies and nickels of scripture rolled down the stairs of my life and continued spinning and rolling in every direction in my mind - under furniture, down registers, and continued into the hidden places in my heart. It was loud. When it all stopped and lay still and silent, I could not deny its effect.
It was a mess. My life had been simply sweet. Even with the heartaches of our infertility and Brad's continued health issues, we were grateful to God and truly happy about life and love.
However, nearly a year ago, I surveyed my life and found that I did love my life and my family - which is wonderful and godly - but I was loving it more than Jesus. Which, according to plenty of scriptures, is not true discipleship.
OK... (deep breath)... so I confessed to Brad my thoughts and inhibitions. As it turned out, he'd been having his own similar struggles. It felt incredible as our conversations shifted over the course of a couple months from the disconnect we felt between the scriptures and our lives to what course of action should be taken to rectify it.
How do we give Jesus more? How do we give more time to those hurting? More money to those in need? Both of us quickly realized that we needed to get out of this house. Even though we knew that the house upkeep took time and money, there was another element. It provided a place for us to hide. We could love each other, invest in one another here in this home as we worked to maintain and improve it. To us, it began to feel so... small. Our family of 3 in a world of 7 billion. We knew God was calling us to something more. The idea of moving intimidated and excited us. We discussed it and prayed about it for a couple months until we could avoid it no longer. It was our next course of action.
Jesus' words seem weightier.
Paul's admonitions seem more real.
Our hearts are embracing the idea of not only, "Life is short, " but also, that what really matters is eternity. We've decided to flesh that out with a sign in our yard.
I don't know if there will be a buyer.
Regardless, I know we are different.
And that doesn't feel good, it feels great.
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