have you ever been invited to drink from the refreshing truth of God by someone? having been so parched for so long, surrounded by only the stagnant, familiar, disappointing water of self, and then suddenly someone reminds you that there's living water?
my sweet friend reminded me more than a month ago that God wants us to come to Him as a child. it sounded so right. it sounded so inviting. knowing that i had been carrying a heavy burden of "self" preservation, i longed to shed it, but couldn't see how i could trust God with it.
however, it was a result of that afternoon with her that i began to awaken as to how many "i'm an adult" prayers i uttered versus how many "i'm just a kid" prayers crossed my lips. and i saw clearly that if anyone approached God with their abilities and resources touting, it was me.
so i am in the process of turning over a new leaf. slowly, returning to the richness of the satisfying, living water called surrender. it feels good to have my thirst quenched. i am not great at it yet. i am a recovering self-preserver.
i don't know a more acute way of channeling my thought process towards child-likeness than by observing my own interaction with my daughter. she incessantly asks me, "why". she is in training to first say, "yes, momma" and then, "why", but as with anything, repetition with these young ones is seemingly the eternal training ground. however, in my own very mature, adult reasoning i bypass the, "yes, Lord," and have skipped straight to the, "why, Lord?" just as she is known to do. it's not that i think God minds the "why". it just that the trust is not there that says, "i know You know what You are doing even if i have NO idea."
so, my Daddy asks me to become like a child... to trust Him as my very own daughter trusts me. i guess i need just as much repetition. backtracking is harder work than it sounds, even when it is the road to sweet rest and ineffable peace, but i say... "yes, Lord."
my sweet friend reminded me more than a month ago that God wants us to come to Him as a child. it sounded so right. it sounded so inviting. knowing that i had been carrying a heavy burden of "self" preservation, i longed to shed it, but couldn't see how i could trust God with it.
however, it was a result of that afternoon with her that i began to awaken as to how many "i'm an adult" prayers i uttered versus how many "i'm just a kid" prayers crossed my lips. and i saw clearly that if anyone approached God with their abilities and resources touting, it was me.
so i am in the process of turning over a new leaf. slowly, returning to the richness of the satisfying, living water called surrender. it feels good to have my thirst quenched. i am not great at it yet. i am a recovering self-preserver.
i don't know a more acute way of channeling my thought process towards child-likeness than by observing my own interaction with my daughter. she incessantly asks me, "why". she is in training to first say, "yes, momma" and then, "why", but as with anything, repetition with these young ones is seemingly the eternal training ground. however, in my own very mature, adult reasoning i bypass the, "yes, Lord," and have skipped straight to the, "why, Lord?" just as she is known to do. it's not that i think God minds the "why". it just that the trust is not there that says, "i know You know what You are doing even if i have NO idea."
so, my Daddy asks me to become like a child... to trust Him as my very own daughter trusts me. i guess i need just as much repetition. backtracking is harder work than it sounds, even when it is the road to sweet rest and ineffable peace, but i say... "yes, Lord."
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