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surprise

11/6/2010

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thursday was a misunderstanding.  although looking like winter coming on, the fall day sounded like spring and felt like the mildness of either season.  and i smiled to myself... enjoying the ambiguity.  i closed my eyes and heard spring.  i opened them and saw fall.  bare trees and all.  the christmas songs in the stores felt acutely ill-timed.

yesterday, however, was decidedly winter trying to push its way in.  complete with the view of snowflakes falling outside and a fire going inside, mother nature reminded me that she will run her course.  and i again smiled to myself.  and i resisted the urge of playing my christmas playlist.

i welcome the changing of the seasons.  i don't know why i am not as comfortable with the changing seasons in my own heart and my emotional life sometimes.  but, i am ready to learn how.  i think it must have something to do with just relaxing and being a child before God.  (o!  that again!)

as my life weaves in and out of surprising disappointments or personal failed plans and pure joy in indescribably perfect, completely unplanned moments, i wonder around my own heart searching for some sort of balance.  as a planner, it seems that God challenges me by keeping the lights off.  and sometimes it seems that i hear spring, and when the light comes on i see fall in all of its glory and drabness. 

and i think - no, i know - that's just the way it's supposed to be... me not knowing; God working out His purposes.  and i think that each season - or dare i say for myself, each day - requires that i follow the ebb and flow of His seasons soaking in the perception of spring and finding the beauty of fall.

so thankful that He doesn't change His mind about me despite my response to His seasons. 

so very thankful.


We humans make plans, but the Lord has the final word.  Proverbs 16:1 (CEV)


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