today

It's the same as every day, but not. It's muted sounds and grayed color tones. It's as if the whole world went sepia or maybe Instagram inkwell. I still have to prepare for the day the same as every day, but it just feels wrong. My voice is a little quakier, my decisions a little slower, my appetite suppressed. Then finally I'm off.

I'm off to my granddad's funeral.  Slow moving clouds hang low; then as if on cue, it begins to drizzle. 

And as it always happens, there's one day that changes every day forever after that.

Today it's a funeral.

It's not that I knew the man well. He was reticent and reserved. He was hard to know. But, he was mine.

My granddad.

And every day after this one is different.

The kind, generous, quiet man known as Bob will not be in his chair watching the game, or across the table as my euchre partner, or offering me a word of encouragement.

It's most likely one of the first in a long line of many people that will alter my life's days. There will be more grayscaled moments to come.

So, I want to live in full color in between. I do try to live life intentionally now, but there's always room for growth.... Lord, help me to live with purpose instead of by habit, to decide with passion in lieu of passiveness, to choose to brighten the color by engaging those around me more.


Let us not love in word or
talk but in deed and in truth... 
1 John 3:18